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Phone Sex Tips – Setting the Mood

Sexting is popular, but it’s not exactly easy or erotic to type and simulate sex at the same time. Getting sexed up over Skype or webcams is fun, but can you really trust the person on the other end not to turn your virtual private tryst into a viral video? Let’s take technology back a decade or two, and get back to the art of phone sex and make it better than ever.

Setting the Scene and the Mood

Phone Sex Tips - Sex Toys Little Shop Of O's AustinHaving actual sex requires being in an actual place. Having great virtual phone sex requires a place, too, real or imagined. Ask your phone partner where he or she is – on the couch, in bed, at the office after hours – or describe your surroundings. If lying on your bed facing a hamper full of clothes and an ironing board isn’t your idea of sexy, suggest a place you’d like to be or bounce some ideas off each other.  Other ways to set the scene and the mood is to suggest  a fantasy or recall a special time that you had in the past.

Phone Sex Foreplay

IMPORTANT TIP: Guys, try to be creative. At the beginning of phone sex try not to ask the same tired lines: “What are you wearing?” or “What are you doing?” Nothing makes a woman feel more objectified or like she’s free on-demand porn. Like actual sex, most women need some warming up when it comes to phone sex. For a woman, going into phone sex cold is sometimes like faking an orgasm. It feels phony, and who benefits from that?  There is such a thing as phone sex foreplay, and if you play it right, your aural experience will  be so much hotter.

If you’re having phone sex with  a partner you don’t know in person, ask or tell him or her what you like to do or like to have done to you.  If you’re talking to a spouse or significant other, say something like, “I like the way you ____________,” or “I love to do ____________ to you.” Comments like those make it easy to visualize and even replicate by touching yourself while you’re on the phone. Triggers like those automatically make you lower the tone and pitch of your voice and deepen your breathing. Those aural cues are sexy, too.

Foreplay & Beyond

When you have sex, it’s never about the numbers. As a rule, women don’t  believe a man who says he has an 8-, 10- or 12-inch cock. Women hear that all the time and they know it’s BS.  However, men will settle for suspended disbelief if a woman says she has 34DD breasts. If you’ve had sex with your spouse or significant other 10, 100 or 1,000 times, bonus! You know what you’re dealing with.  Either way, describing how parts of your body feel and respond to certain sexual acts is so much sexier.

If you’re a woman, tell your partner what gets or is getting you wet and tingly. If you’re a man, describe exactly how your penis feels. Don’t just use words like wet or hard. Get creative with your adjectives, metaphors, similes and verbs to paint a more vivid picture for the person on the other end of the phone. Suggest, but never demand,  how you’d like to be pleased.  Say something like, “I’d like it if you kissed/licked/rubbed, etc. my (body part).” The feedback you’ll get will be much more cooperative and enthusiastic.

When imagery and fantasy start getting penetrative, avoid “directing the scene”. Resist the urge to say what you’re “doing” to the other person without getting his or her feedback. This is his or her fantasy, too.

If it gets difficult to hold a conversation (a sure sign that you’re doing it right), pay close attention to breathing, moans, groans, and all those other sexy sounds to guide each other to climax. Great phone sex isn’t just about you getting off; it’s about two people getting off.

By all means, haul out your favorite sex toys and lube while you’re on the phone. They’ll  make your self-love and what your partner hears on the other end much more intense and closer to the old Yellow Pages jingle – reach out and touch someone.