Fun Ways to Get Around Erectile Dysfunction
Fun Ways to
Get Around Erectile Dysfunction
Dealing with erectile dysfunction doesn’t mean dealing without sex. In fact it can be a blessing in disguise, causing you to become more creative, and actually enhancing your sex life! Yes, that is what we said, as a result of ED, your sex life can actually get better.
First of all, talk with a physician about erectile problems. Often they’re indicators of other medical conditions that require treatment and management such as diabetes or hypertension. Smoking and poor life style habits can both lead to a restricted blood flow to the penis. No blood flow = no erection. Alcohol, which is a depressant, doesn’t necessarily mean that it affects mood; it can also “depress” other bodily functions. Some medications can have a depressing effect as well.
Aside from the “little blue pill” — which works well for many men with ED, especially the longer-acting ones – remember that great sex is more than just about genitals and intercourse. Sensate focusing, or focusing on the pleasures of touch, is a great way to discover other less obvious erogenous zones and can lead to longer-lasting and very fulfilling sexual encounters.
An erotic massage is a great way to find these magic spots and has the additional benefit of being a great stress reliever. Warm your massage oil or use a warming oil. Many of them smell and taste good, too, and can add some oomph to other senses that can heighten your time together. Plus, two well-oiled bodies sliding in sync can be a very erotic experience, even if penetration doesn’t occur. Shift your focus on the journey instead of the destination.
If you’re open to and enjoy the pleasures of extended massage and sensate focusing, open your mind to the spiritual pleasures of tantric sex. Tantric sex has nothing to do with performance; it has to do more with building intimacy skills. The basis of tantric sex is to destress, relax, and connect with your lover. Start out by finding an hour or more of uninterrupted time to relax, preferably nude, perhaps in the tub or over a glass of wine. Sit cross legged across from each other and gaze into each other’s eyes. Focus on breathing in sync with each other. While maintaining eye contact and breathing, experiment with erotic touching and telling each other what you want and like. As time progresses, introduce toys and take time trying out new positions with each other. Whatever you do, don’t rush the process. By taking things at a slower pace, you can likely find new ways to get and maintain an erection, possibly for longer than you ever imagined.
If you’re not the touchy-feely spiritual type, try living out your fantasies with role playing. Spend a couple of days of discussing or even texting ideas of the character and situations you want to play out. Get costumes to make your fantasy lovers more authentic. If you have trouble coming up with characters and scenarios, get a role playing board game like Fantasy Affairs where you and your partner can get some ideas and have a sexy competitive game, where the winner gets to decide whose role playing scenario you’ll inevitably act out.
Don’t discount the pleasures of mutual masturbation, a good hand job, and oral sex. Watching each other masturbate is very arousing for most lovers. Partners, pick up some tips to expand your oral skills, and don’t skimp on the lube . Flavored lubes are a great way to sustain your interest, especially if a man with ED may require or want longer sessions. Warming lubes can sometimes do the trick to get a man’s penis harder.
Learn how to give your partner with ED a prostate massage. You can do this by rubbing, stroking or pressing his perineum, the area between his testicles and anus. Probing the prostate gland anally feels great, too, even if his magic button doesn’t turn on his bigger flicker switch. Use the soft pad of your index finger while exploring, and be gentle. As you relax further, lube your finger up and let it gently brush across the surface of your anus. Repeat this move several times, each time increasing the pressure slightly. When you’re comfortable enough to begin probing, you should keep things slow and gentle, taking care to relax your sphincter during the process. You’ll know that you’ve hit the P-spot when you feel a small, chestnut-sized bump about two inches inward.
If you’re squeamish about sticking a finger up a rectum, cover it with a small-sized condom. Dildos and anal plugs can do the trick, too. If you’re new to anal toys, start with the smallest anal plugs and dildos. Whether your use your fingers or toys, make sure to use a thick or gel-like lube for safety and comfort.
Guys, if you feel that anal sex will compromise your masculinity, ponder this thought: eating tacos doesn’t make you Mexican.
Whatever you do, don’t waste time comparing your 40-, 50- or 60-year-old self with the twenty-something that got hard – and came – on a dime. Make this an opportunity for you and your partner to explore new ways to enjoy sex in a supportive, loving and non-judging climate. We guarantee you that you will find some previously undiscovered, some even better and longer lasting pleasures and strengthen your relationship at the same time.