Beginners Guide to Anal Sex Toys
Beginners Guide to Anal Sex Toys
Interested in anal but don’t know where to start? Excited about toys, but afraid you’ll do it wrong? Either way, we’ve got you covered with wide array of quality anal sex products and a how-to guide for using them.
Remember to Breathe
The rectum is jam-packed with nerve endings, and so when done correctly, anal sex can be intensely pleasurable for all involved parties, especially the recipient. However, the anal sphincter is tight, non-lubricating and starts out unaccustomed to objects entering it, so some things should be taken into consideration when starting out, and some preparations made before every subsequent encounter. Also, remember to breathe, and to try to relax. This is supposed to fun. 😉
Lube is Critical
Lubrication is a must-have for anal play. The rectum does not self-lubricate, like a vagina can, and needs assistance decreasing the amount of friction that occurs during penetration. Any lube is better than none at all, but there are lubricants specially designed for anal use that can help make your experience even more pleasurable. Some are flavored, some have a warming element and many of them feature desensitizing agents to help minimize potential discomfort.
Personal lubricants may be water, oil or silicone-based. Thinner, more liquid lubes can get things feeling slippery quicker, but thicker ones, like gels and pastes, provide more overall comfort and are longer lasting. Water-based lubes may be used with any toys; oil and silicone ones are more finicky. Oil-based lubricants work incredibly well, but can be difficult to clean and can also degrade silicone and latex toys. Silicone-based lubes are also excellent, and can be used with any type of toy, except those also made out of silicone. Silicone + silicone = a mushy mess.
Size and Shape Matter
Because your anus functions typically as a one-way gate, it isn’t accustomed to receiving pressure or entry from outside your body. Start by purchasing anal toys specifically made for beginners; ones that are short and thin. Don’t use the width and length of vaginal toys as a guide; the vagina is longer and more elastic than the rectum. Using an anal toy that’s too long or wide can cause issues such as pain or damage to the area. Take it slow and build up both your tolerance and your body’s ability to adapt.
When beginning, you’ll want to stair step up into anal play with a well-lubricated finger or two. Once you adjust to the feeling of penetration and pressure, try going from there with an anal plug. Select a beginner one that flares out only slightly from the tip to make insertion easier and more comfortable. Make sure it has a wide base, so it can’t slip and get stuck internally, and that it is smooth and free of any seams or ridges from manufacturing that could inadvertently cause damage.
Like anal plugs, there’s no need to go super wide or long with dildos. A six-incher should be just fine for beginners. If you’re getting a dildo for a strap-on harness, make sure it has a flared base to secure itself to the harness ring. Prostate massagers, being slightly curved in order to hit the prostate (2-3 inches inside the rectum), also don’t need to be large since they have a specific purpose.
When choosing anal beads, start out with ones that are smaller in size until you find your sweet spot. Look for beads graduated in size, to give you options, that are strung together on a firm yet flexible wand and that have a wide base or handle so they can’t get accidentally lodged in your rectum. Beads strung together on a string should be avoided, as they’re difficult to insert and can’t be adequately cleaned.
Know Your Materials
Silicone and latex are popular anal toy materials, and are particularly great for beginners, because they are both soft and firm at the same time. Regardless of the material your toy is made from, make sure that any insertables you have are phthalate-free. The chemical structure of phthalates can be broken down by heat and then released into the environment (aka your body). In scientific studies involving rodents, high doses have been shown to change hormone levels and cause birth defects.
Keep It Clean
As important as it is keep all your toys clean, it is even more important to keep your anal toys clean. Hygiene is vital part of ensuring safe sex with your toys, and keeping them clean will also prolong their life and love. Know what they’re made of, and how to appropriately clean them; do so after *every* use. It is also considered best practices to keep separate toys for anal and vaginal play, even if you are consistently immaculate in your care of them. For more tips and tricks about keeping it clean, check out our guide to caring for your battery-operated best friends here.
Few Last Tips
If you’re engaged in partnered play and are the penetrator, be sure to start out slow and steady and be ready to stop immediately if your partner requests it. Fast and hard have their place, but there can be a lot of tension in this area of the body, especially if your partner is nervous. Enjoyable anal play is more about letting the rectum relax than forcing it to stretch. And slower can make it oh-so-scintillating for both parties.
If you’re really into anal play, and want to take it up a notch, try adding a buzz with vibrating anal beads, anal plugs and prostate massagers. Ones with variable speeds will give you the best bang for your buck.
Finally, don’t underestimate the emotional quality anal play can have. Between the intense physical sensations and societal stigma aroused by anal sex, be sensitive to and on alert for feelings to arise in yourself or your partner, both positive and negative. Check in with your partner frequently about their comfort level when you’re starting out to ensure both of you are having a good time and afterward to be supportive of them. Extend this same courtesy to yourself.
To learn more about anal sex & anal toys, check out The Ultimate Guide for Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino and The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian. For the best anal sex toys you can find online, and many other intriguing items, visit our online store.