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The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes Men Make In Bed
on July 1, 2016 in Sex Talk

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Mistake #1 – Thinking She is Having Orgasms When She Isn’t

You may think that your lover is having multiple orgasms (or even an orgasm) when she is not. She may make a bunch of noises, get really wet, and even tell you she is cumming. But is she really?

Grab a Cosmopolitan sometime and look at how many articles and comments there are on faking orgasms. I’m not saying that your girl is faking orgasms every time but… chances are there have been a few episodes of love making where she was craving something other than what you were doing.

When this happens women just want it to be over and encourage you to cum. It doesn’t mean you are awful in bed; just that being a mind blowing lover every time takes some specialized knowledge.

If you are giving your girl orgasms (and absolutely 100% sure of it) then congratulations! You’re one of the few guys who is actually pleasing a woman really well. But if you’re not, it is crucial that you learn how…

 

Mistake #2 – Not Giving Her a Variety of Sexual Experiences A lot of guys who are new to sex – or are used to having sex with the same woman – tend to forget that women want different kinds of sexual experiences.

You might think that changing positions a few times and varying the speed of your thrusting is a different type of sex. But it is not. Women thrive on emotions. Sometimes they want to be taken, sometimes they want it hard, and sometimes they want to make love.

If you are not talking during sex and creating a strong emotional experience for her she can’t be totally fulfilled. Women want strong emotional experiences in bed.  Let’s look at an example:

Women love bad boys because of the emotions that a bad boy inspires in them. It is why when women cheat it is often with a “bad boy.” However, you don’t need to be bad boy to create bad boy emotions within her in the bedroom. Just be a bad boy yourself by spanking her, talking dirty, and giving it to her good!

Women also love very suave, romantic types. Think of the cheesy paperback romance novels they read (or current TV shows they watch) with that long-haired Fabio look.

Now, I’m not saying you should grow long hair, huge man boobs, and start riding a horse… but what you can do is mix up your lovemaking with some romantic sessions in which you are telling your girl how beautiful she is to you and how much you love her. Get it? The skinny is this: You need to give your lover a variety of sexual experiences… and you can give them all to her yourself but you have to mix it up!

Mistake #3 – Forgetting To Be A MAN

Ask any 100 women off of the street and 99 of them will tell you that they want a man that takes control. That said, she wants you to call the shots!  Yes you read that right. Your girl does want you to take control in the bedroom, to flip her around and do her doggy style without asking, and to do what you want! Women are programmed to respond to strong, authoritative, confident men. It signifies that you are a protector, a leader, and a suitable mate.

Sure, it’s ok to ask her if she is enjoying something… but this is mostly reserved to specific technique when you are “going down”. Save the talk about actual positions she liked for after you are done. Now don’t get me wrong – you are not making her a slave here but rather leading with authority and masculine strength. Once you start doing this you will be able to do many things with her in the bedroom that she earlier would not do. Many guys often think a woman is just uptight and not being sexual if she doesn’t want to do something… when, in reality, she just needs you to be a man and guide her with your strength. You’ll be amazed at just how powerfully she responds!

Mistake #4 – Thinking Sex Isn’t That Important To Her

If you want to know how much women love sex… just think about how loudly they scream in the bedroom when they are getting it good! You won’t ever hear a guy screaming like that! You might think that your sex drive is much higher than your girl’s because you are usually the one initiating sex with her. But… as hard as it is to swallow, recognize that if your girl doesn’t want to have sex it is NOT because she doesn’t want to. Unfortunately, it’s probably because you just aren’t getting her off. Fortunately this is an easy fix, and in a moment we’ll talk about how to do it…

Mistake #5 – Being Silent/Emotionless in Bed You may think that it is “cheesy” or “creepy” to talk romantically or dirty in bed. (you may think it’s weird to talk at all in bed) However, women HATE silent, mechanical sex. Why? Let’s hit this again my friend: Women thrive on emotion.

Dirty talk or romantic talk are an excellent way of giving your girl strong emotions in bed.
STRONG EMOTIONS = STRONG ORGASMS.

Never think that it is solely your physical parts or motions you are making that get your girl off. The most powerful female orgasms are triggered by her mind, not by her physical body. Unlock her mind through dirty talk, romantic talk, and emotional talk while having sex and your girl will experience the strongest orgasms of her life.

Mistake #6 – Trading Dinners/Flowers/etc To Get Sex From Her

Many men mistakenly think that women aren’t interested in sex (we already discussed how this is incorrect thinking) and that they have to “trade something” with their girl for sex. This is why you see so many guys trying to have sex with their girl by first taking her out to a nice dinner or buying her gifts. While doing nice things for your girl is awesome, it should never be with the intention of getting sex. When you have to trade something to get sex from your girl, you need to realize that this is proof that you are not good enough in bed. It is proof that she does not like sex with you since in order to do it you have to give her something in exchange.

When you are sexually satisfying your girl you will not have to trade anything for sex but your girl will often spontaneously text you sexy messages, buy you a small gift, or begin initiating sex constantly. Just wait and see!

Mistake #7 – Not Giving Her Enough “Foreplay”

If you still think of “foreplay” as the activity before sex you need a quick mindset adjustment to change how much time you spend on foreplay. Here’s a hint: Women consider foreplay as part of the sex, not as a separate thing!

Here’s why: While a man is not capable of having a foreplay orgasm and another orgasm right away when he penetrates his girl, women can. Imagine if you could have orgasms during foreplay and never lose your erection even the slightest and keep having orgasms as you penetrated your girl. You’d want to spend a lot of time in foreplay too, right? Well your girl can have foreplay orgasms and penetration orgasms so she does want to spend a lot of time in foreplay. As she should!

As a rule of thumb, spend at least the same amount of time on foreplay as penetration and you can always spend even more time in foreplay. You can never get her too turned on and it will only make the penetration better when you are finally inside of her.

Mistake #8-  Not Lasting Long Enough 

This mistake is well known and very simple, but no list of mistakes in the bedroom would be complete without it.  But while all guys know they need to last long… they don’t necessarily know how long that is! Well, after talking to hundreds of women about the subject, I’ve discovered that if you can last at least 10 minutes, most women will be plenty happy with that.

Sure, they might be even happier if you are up for a “round 2” after a break in the action… but if you can last for 10 minutes in the first round, then trust me, you are fine!

Mistake #9 – Mistaking Her Moodiness For NORMAL Behavior

It’s no secret that women are a lot moodier than us men. But if you’re in a relationship with a woman and she seems to keep getting more and more moody over time… this is often because she isn’t getting what she needs in the bedroom.

FACT – As we talked about before… while women aren’t usually as sexually aggressive as men, they do love and need sex just as much!  But here’s the thing… if you’re not giving her orgasms… then sex does her no good!
Can you imagine jerking off but you could never orgasm? You’d begin to enjoy it less and less each time. Eventually you’d get so frustrated by the inability to “finish” that it was just easier to avoid it completely!

Sooo…If you can’t give her orgasms why would she want to have sex with you? The answer: She won’t. If your girl is not wanting to have sex with you as much as you want then this is exactly what has happened for her.

In the beginning, she may have tolerated sex because she was really into you. Now that you have been together for a long time and sex isn’t satisfying for her it is more fulfilling to get herself off when you’re not around. This leads to only having sex with you on special occasions… or when she feels obligated (like if a guy bought her a fancy dinner or some sort of gift.)

If you recognize any of these signs, it’s time to step up your sex game NOW before the sex drought gets even worse. And when you do, you’ll discover that when you are completely rocking her world in bed, not only is she in a better mood on a day-to-day basis… but she’ll start initiating sex with you!

A close friend of mine, who is somewhat of a love-making expert himself, told me something that I didn’t’ believe at the time… but I now KNOW to be 100% true:

IF YOU ARE GIVING HER THE BEST SEX OF HER LIFE SHE WON’T CARE IF YOU ARE HOMELESS LIVING IN A CARDBOARD BOX… AS LONG AS YOU CAN HAVE SEX IN IT!

When I heard this I thought he was totally full of it… but as my own lovemaking skills improved and then I heard about the success other guys were having, I realized this is completely true. Women are biologically “made” to be child bearers and select the highest value man to have a child with. Don’t you think that the ability to give amazing sex is one of the highest values a man can have? Especially since so few men actually are really good. If your girlfriend or wife is often starting arguments, not wanting sex, or acting “distant” in some way it is time to stop blaming her. Re-examine your sexual ability because the real culprit is inadequate sexual pleasure.

Mistake #10 –  Not Getting Help Top performers in any aspect of life realize that mastery is a journey, not a destination. Top athletes don’t all-of-a-sudden stop practicing. Millionaire business men don’t suddenly neglect their businesses and expect them to keep shuttling cash into their pockets. And guess what… sex is no different.

To be an amazing lover you can’t ever be blinded by sexual arrogance. Never think that you know everything. You may know a lot,  but there are always new tricks or tips to get you to the next level.

 Article written by: Love Systems

Little Shop Of O’s would love to hear your experiences…. Ladies & Men. 🙂

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Comments
  • Melinda
    June 9, 2013

    Great article!! This is going to help a lot of couples out there!! 🙂

  • Patriciaexot
    January 17, 2015

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    • lsosadmin
      January 31, 2015

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  • Patriciaexot
    January 22, 2015

    Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post! It is the little changes which will make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!

    • lsosadmin
      January 31, 2015

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  • Doug
    September 25, 2015

    I agree with some of the points made in the article but not all. My fist wife was not interested in sex at all, no matter what I did or did not do. Basically, I had to beg for sex and when she acquiesced it was obvious she was just appeasing me. For the entire ten years of our marriage I thought I was just hyper sexual but I also knew from talking with other people that she was very frigid and lacked a normal sex drive.

    Now let’s get to my second wife. She liked sex. No bullshit, every time we had sex she would orgasm at least twice, very intensely with either a large squirt or huge gush. Usually she came three times. I would change positions, change the tempo, the depth, all of it and make her orgasm until she literally told me to stop because her body was numb and shaking. Then she’d just lay in bed, rocking back and forth moaning with her hand on herself.

    I’ve always been able to last at least 20 minutes and I never orgasm before the woman I’m with achieves her first orgasm. Sometimes, I am happy without having an orgasm. The feeling of having sex is so pleasurable and enjoyable I’m happy with or without achieving an orgasm.

    I share all that to share that nothing about my sexual desires, techniques, energy, or effort to provide emotional sensuality has changed from the time I met my first wife in 1995 to the time I met my second wife in 2008. I will admit that my second wife turned out to be a bad decision and our marriage only lasted 3 years, of which only 1.5 years was at all enjoyable, but we had amazing sex and that is probably what kept us together as long as we were.

    One final comment regarding size of penis and sexual satisfaction of women. My second wife revealed that her previous boyfriend was huge, in fact 15″ and thick. She bragged that she was able to “go all the way down on him”. Prior to her revealing that I was becoming aware at just how many orgasms she had, the gush or squirt as a result, and her overall sex drive. She told me that she commented to her friends at work that she came so hard with me that her ear drums popped every time. I know I’m not huge and my curiosity about her previous experiences was what sparked the question. She mentioned on more than one occasion that she has never experienced orgasms like she did with me with anyone else, including Hercules I mentioned previously. I consider myself to be very average in size. Again, I share all that to share that the motion and rhythm a man employs during sex, and variation in position, can more than compensate for a normal, maybe even less than normal, sized man. I experimented with all sorts of positions and motions/rhythms, spontaneously s well as pre planned and as a result of said experimentation I found a position that was so amazing for her she could only stay in it for about 7 minutes or so. I figured out she liked it deep when she was in the middle of the act and totally relaxed in the moment and experience. The specific position consisted of her on her side lying down (somewhat on her back but slightly resting on her side), and her left leg was resting on my left shoulder while I was in a somewhat kneeling position with my pelvis and upper body angled across her pelvis/vaginal region. It’s probably not possible to explain in words the position such that it could be duplicated but if at all possible try it because I could feel myself “bottoming out” from how deep I was able to penetrate and with every thrust going deep inside her she took a huge gasp for air and let out a shallow, low tone, scream.

    That’s my take.

  • Pete
    May 28, 2016

    Great points, maybe add 3 more to make it 13 (more ‘poetic’). haha

    • Michele Schalin
      June 4, 2016

      Haha – glad you enjoyed it. It was spot on from my woman’s point of view. 🙂

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