Rock Your Socks Off: Our Guide to Steamy Solo Sex
Masturbation. It’s one of the first ways in which we experience overt sexual pleasure and an important part of sexual development, but for some, it still comes with a stigma that can be hard to shake. If you’ve been using solo sex primarily as a means to an end (or if you haven’t been using it at all), we’d like to open your eyes to the pure joy of getting off on your own — you may be amazed at what you’ve been missing!
Set the Scene
Performing any intimate act comes with a level of vulnerability. You want your alone time to feel comfortable and secure. Turn off your phone and lock your door, so you won’t be interrupted or distracted. Pick your perfect location. Your bed? The bathtub or shower? These are some popular choices, but you don’t have to limit yourself to them. If you’d like to do it on the kitchen table or in a super secluded backyard spot, feel free. Prepare your environment by clearing away any clutter, maybe lighting a candle (lavender, licorice, and pumpkin pie scents reportedly increase blood flow to your sex organs) or playing music that helps put you in the mood. One of the benefits of solo sex is that your preferences are all that matters — you get to choose the lighting, the background noise, everything.
Start Out Slow
Sometimes you just need to get off as quickly as possible, and that’s perfectly fine. But when you’re more concerned with the journey than the destination, we encourage you to start without using your hands. Let your imagination loose and indulge in your favorite fantasy. If you’re into visual stimulation, find a favorite image or video. Erotic literature is a favorite to many — dive into a particularly steamy scene. Not sure what gets you going? Now is a good time to do a little experimenting. Be advised, there is much to choose from, and it might take time to find the material that works best for you.
Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment
When you feel yourself getting aroused, begin touching your skin, focusing on areas like your chest, belly, and inner thighs. Enjoy these sensations thoroughly before moving on to your genitals. And when you get there, keep the focus on exploration and finding what feels best. Try a variety of positions to find your favorites. Vary the speed and intensity with which you touch yourself. Use your whole hand to pleasure a wider surface area, then use just a finger or two to focus on a particularly sweet spot. If you’ve never tried penetration on your own, see how it feels. Remember that any discoveries you make can be shared with a partner next time around.
Tools of the Trade
We’ve mentioned using sexy images and books to help get you in the mood, but you also might want to stock up on a few items for use during the act. First, lube can help make your experience more comfortable and pleasurable. You might also want to invest in a couple of toys to help you enjoy different sensations and experiences. There’s a wide variety to choose from, but a little online research can help you narrow things down. You might also find new uses for everyday household items — you may enjoy different settings on your shower head, or try grinding against a pillow or pulling a sheet back and forth between your legs. Just keep in mind that for penetration purposes, it’s best to stick to items specifically designed to go inside your body.
In addition to feeling incredible, regular masturbation boasts a number of health benefits, including reducing stress, boosting metabolism, and increasing endorphin production. Take the time to get to know your body — you’ll find the key to intense sexual pleasure is right at your fingertips.
Charlotte Sometimes is a writer, teacher, performer, and prominent member of the local sex positive community. She has been a fierce advocate for accurate and comprehensive sex education since her Catholic high school days and is excited to share her research and experience with you. Her favorite things include straight whiskey, spin the bottle, good books, feminist porn, and snuggling. Charlotte lives in Austin, TX with her partner and her partner’s partner, which is way less scandalous than it sounds.