My path towards becoming an erotica author started in a very unlikely place: a reduced sex drive which lasted several years. There was one period where I went three months without having sex and felt repulsed at the thought of having sex again. My poor husband was going nuts!
To give some background information, there are many factors that play into a reduced sex drive. In my case, nothing my husband did, or didn’t do, changed my drive. It wasn’t related to how much I loved or was attracted to him. I was just not interested, couldn’t get in the mood, and I simply found sex unengaging. It seemed like a huge time commitment when I had a lot of other things on my plate. Basically, my loss of sex drive was caused by anxiety, stress, and depression.
I was most certainly not happy about this. I truly missed the time when sex used to relieve anxiety rather than increase it. I also felt incredibly guilty because, no matter how much I told him otherwise, my husband was interpreting my reduced sex drive as an indicator that I was no longer attracted to him. It seemed like finding a solution to this problem was important for the health of my marriage.
Then by random luck combined with some reddit surfing, I decided to read Moan for Bigfoot by Virginia Wade. As a person who was never into erotica, I suddenly found myself reading some wild stuff. And I must say, it turned me on… a lot. After completing this erotic short, I felt the immediate need to satiate my lustful craving, regardless of the fact that it was 3:00 am. Despite the late hour, my husband certainly didn’t complain. A piece of lost intimacy was rekindled, and we started having some of the best sex of our marriage.
I think it would be safe to say that many people think only perverts read erotica. I believe this reputation undermines the value of this genre. By its nature, erotica encourages readers to become open minded about their sexuality and provides them with fresh ideas for the bedroom. Erotica is a tool which can be used to enrich a couple’s most intimate time, and a healthy sex life can only improve a healthy marriage. For this reason, I think erotica is an important body of writing.
Christina Harding is a pseudonym. She is a guest blogger for Romance at Random of Random House, and the author of Underneath the Gargoyle, a paranormal erotic novelette.