Food to Get in the Mood
So, you’ve gotten past first dates, and moved on to inviting that special someone over for a sensual home-cooked meal. But then you remember the last time you tried to boil water and nearly burned the house down. Well…honestly if you’re that bad, you might want to pull a Ms. Doubtfire and learn how to re-plate pre-ordered food. If you’re just someone who thinks they can’t possibly seduce someone in the kitchen because of mediocre cooking skills, I’m here to tell ya…there may be hope for you yet. Let’s start with some basics, because some of you may need steps to get you where you feel comfy even looking at a recipe. If you’re already there, skip to the end for some of my favorites.
Step 1: Learn to make the foods you like
Back in my pre-crossdressing-rockstar days, I was just a kid with a voice and a dad who knew how to cook. I learned from him how to make my favorite dishes. This is lesson one. If there’s someone you know, related or not, that makes something you love to eat, for heaven’s sake have them teach you! Heck, if that someone happens to be a friend you have a crush on, your cooking lessons might get you on the fast track to love town!
Step 2: Find a good source of recipes
Before our band, Manslide, was a worldwide sensation, we were just a group of Fleetwood enthusiasts called Go Your Own Way, playing acoustic versions of Rumours in coffee shops and bookstores. Remember bookstores? Remember books?? Go get some books! Yes, you can shop around Internet sites, but nothing learns you like a book. It was in after one of these acoustic gigs that I found the wonderful book called Intercourses. It seems cheesy, and it is in some ways, but it’s got some great recipes for self-starters. It also has cute little stories to go along with each recipe, and some stunning food-porn quality photography. It’s a good place to build from. This is even a fun book to look through with your date before or after dinner to plan some courses together (inter or otherwise).
The other book that helped me blossom into the be-scarved Stevie Dicks I am now was a book called Aphrodite by Isabel Allende. It’s a sunning tale about the many ways in which courting has developed around the world, and the back of the book features a cookbook with some truly intense recipes. Try the mushroom risotto in there, and your next date night won’t end until the next morning. Which brings me to step 3.
Step 3: Start with a good base to build on, then pair from there
Risotto is really a fairly simple dish, and a great base to build upon. Slide some sort of seafood on top, and add in a vegetable or salad, and then you’ll be golden. Mashed Potatoes? Probably not so great with seafood. Just imagine the feeling of mashed potatoes and fish or shrimp in your mouth at the same time. Feels kinda weird, right? Replace that fish with something meaty and add in a flavorful sauce…oh yeah that’s the stuff! Texture pairing is as important as flavor pairing. If you have an idea, but can’t imagine how it might feel or taste in your mouth, do a test run before date night. Maybe with someone whose opinion you trust if you don’t trust your own.
Step 4: Find a good wine to pair
Look, you’re not all professional winos like ol Stevie here, so once you know what you’re serving, head over to your local liquor store or anywhere that has employees hanging out around the wine section. Those people are there to tell you how to make your dinner sing. Tell them what you’re making, get a white and a red to be safe (some people only drink one type. Weirdos), and don’t let them take you above $20/bottle. You can get some amazing things for $10-15/bottle these days.
Now you’re ready! Oh? Still need some help from Stevie Dicks over here? Well, babies, don’t you fret. By the light of the night, it’ll all seem alright. I’ll send you my favs from the Net.
This dinner from a local chef features no fewer than 3 aphrodisiacs: Crab, Artichoke, and Asparagus. Crab and other shellfish are well-known for their libido-inducing qualities. Richard Burton famously swore by the lascivious nature of asparagus due to its phallic composure, and the tough outer leaves guarding an artichoke’s soft flesh has been a symbol for lovers since ancient Greece.
Need a sensuous but simple appetizer? If fresh figs are in season, this recipe will give you one of the easiest home runs you’ve scored in a long time! The sensuality of a fresh fig is practically unrivaled, with the ridges of tiny, edible seeds, working their way to a core that reveals a portrait of vulvic verisimilitude.
How about a salad? I don’t even need a link for this one. Just say these three words: fruit, cheese, nuts. Got it? Good. Now get thee to a shop and pick up some field greens, a decent bottle of balsamic vinaigrette, fresh strawberries (yet another vulvic fruit), walnuts, and feta or goat cheese. Toast those nuts for around 7-8 minutes at 325, ‘til you can smell them. Toss the greens in the dressing, and top with sliced strawberries, walnuts, and crumbled cheese. This combo with balsamic + fruit, cheese, and nut will almost never fail you on a salad.
Finally, you’re perhaps ready for dessert? You likely can’t go wrong with chocolate, which has long been held as one of the greatest potency percolators since the Aztec and Mayan civilizations. Not only will it give you a bit of naturally occurring caffeine to give you a boost, it also contains phenylethylamine (PEA), which is the same molecule that courses through the veins of someone in love. Wanna keep it simple? You could go get one of those fancy chocolate mousse tulip things from the local Whole Foods and feed each other as you dismantle it, growing messier and messier by the moment until you have throw yourselves in the shower…
What was I talking about?
OR why not try out the Black Russian Cake from Intercourses. It was my first major success in the field of “love baking.” Pro-tip- toss in some bittersweet chocolate chips to up the chocolate factor, and make sure to baste the cake a bit while warm, and again as it cools. This will ensure that the cake is saturated, rather than all the glaze falling to the bottom. Also, this works as a great power booster later that night (or the morning after) once it’s soaked in the glaze for awhile.
Happy eating! And if any of these recipes get your special someone to throw you down and ravish you, just call out my name as a tithe to the love master that is Stevie Dicks. I’ll be listening.
After traveling the globe as the frontman for Manslide,an all-drag Fleetwood Mac cover band Stevie has taken off the skirts and scarves to settle down a bit. He now enjoys pursuits of all things manly, whether it be smoking meats, cooking for his favorite ladies, competing in beard competitions, or gazing intently into the distance. Don’t let that fool you, though. He still has all his frilly bits ready to go, and I hear that Manslide is having a reunion tour in a couple years!