Sex Toys for Women, Men & Couples

Costuming and Sexuality

Costuming and Sexuality
on November 1, 2017 in Role Play, Sex Talk

Young Man Trying Crossdressing - costuming and sexuality

The clothes–or the lack thereof–can make a delightful you!

We’ve all felt the gravity and pull of the mundane, day-to-day life. We have to go to work every day, run errands, pick up the children, buy groceries…etc. All of that goes with a dress code that is tailored for the comfort of others, and maybe that’s even right. You’re committed to wearing a uniform during these tasks that reminds you to stay within the boundaries of societal expectations. After all, it’s easy to slip into a daydream of finding yourself intertwined in the bushes with your fellow PTA member, or getting that fierce spanking that you totally deserve from your boss. As alluring as these fantasies are, they’re usually not risks we want to take with everyone in our lives.

If you find that you are losing yourself in the grey boringness of the everyday world, adhering to soul-sucking societal standards, it’s powerful to remind yourself that you’re free to do otherwise sometimes…after all, clothing is a perfect way to be true to yourself. You can explore new feelings and sensations. You can give yourself little reminders about your passions and desires. You can even explore a new you; be it toying with being exhibistionistic, trying on new genders and sexualities, all the way to just simply having a little fun by finding creative and sneaky ways to push some boundaries. Here are some ideas as to how:

Business on the outside – lusty vixen on the inside

Sometimes, the trick to not forgetting who you are is as simple as giving yourself a little reminder. For instance, my personal day job often requires me to be dressed sharply in a business suit, locked in a formality that is beyond any sort of comfort zone I have (no one THERE even knows I’m gender non-conforming). You can give yourself all sorts of fun little reminders without anyone knowing.

Sneak yourself into a tight restricting thong that gives you a little jolt every time you twist the “wrong” way. If you’re wearing formal pants, there is no reason you can’t attach your socks with a nice tight little garter belt. Even a little lacey piece of lingerie dancing on your chest underneath that formal business shirt can be a lovely reminder to yourself that that corporate world might be able to tell you what to do sometimes, but that it doesn’t own you–the lace catching on your nipples beats coffee for a pick-me-up any day of the week! And no one has to know at all. (Unless you want them to, and believe me, it’s quite the reveal to come home, rip off your suit to show your partner those garters!)

Letting it ALL hang out – what’s life without a little scandal?

When you’re not in a situation where there are severe repercussions for how you dress, you can experiment a lot more. Maybe you’re trying to spice it up with your partner. Maybe you’re just trying to jolt yourself out of a rut. Or maybe you’re showing up at a party with a flexible dress code and you’re out to make people talk. Dress and costuming is a great way to do all of this and more. With the right clothes, you can be nearly anyone.

I know for myself, a simple costume change can make me go from feeling like a worthless schlub to the product of an orgy that Aphrodite and Eros threw a few years back. Try on different fabrics, see how they feel on your skin. Masturbate, and drift off into dreaming while you do so – who do you see yourself as? What is the story that you’re imagining, what are you wearing? How does that make you feel? That should give you ideas of what to try and replicate later.

And whether you’re showing off for yourself, your partner, or a group, letting your fantasy be the driver will do wonders for the effect you have. It’s universal that when someone feels that delightful twinge of sexiness about themselves, they just glow, and everyone else knows it too. You might feel a bit silly being that stern barbarian, or that randy pirate, or the submissive male nurse, but the right fantasy can give you that perfect little tingle to your words and deeds, and people won’t be able to help but be attracted to you.

Phoenix from the ashes…finding the new you!

While the above is mostly talking about a little bit of sexy fun and a nice step outside the norm, there’s an even deeper side to exploring your dress. Society imposes very rigid limits on how we should appear and how we dress, and for many, those standards of masculinity and femininity are NOT what makes us feel beautiful, wanted, sexy, or even ourselves. Finding ways to explore this can open up enormous new worlds for you – perhaps you are a woman who is alienated by the way that women’s clothes restrict motion and movement and lack utility. Perhaps you’re a man who finds that baggy men’s clothing doesn’t do much to show off those glorious legs and arms that you’ve worked so hard on at the gym.

There’s nothing to say that you can’t try and feel like the more authentic you by seeking out the clothing of another gender. And if you ARE questioning your sexuality or gender identity, you can start with costuming – then, if someone challenges you and you feel uncomfortable, you can always play it off as “just a costume” and in the future, find an audience that is more supportive of your choices. There are an infinite number of costume options out there, which provide an infinite set of new potential “you”s that can be explored.

Putting it all in a nice little bow… oh, not THAT.  Well, the bow looks nice there.

In the end, your clothes and your costumes are about expression. It can vary whether your audience is yourself, your partner, a wider group, or the general public, but ultimately, what you wear conveys a message about what you’re thinking about yourself to other people. Most importantly, it can also support or erode your feelings about yourself. When you dress sensually (outwardly, or in a more clandestine fashion), at the minimum you’re reminding yourself that your body is a glorious thing, meant to be enjoyed. So go on! Get out there and be sexy already!

 

AUTHOR BIO

Dahling Sweetiepoo-Schmooley is a pervy polyamorous polyglot who playfully peppers language and delight around the streets of Austin, Texas. When he is not sharing her dirtier thoughts with you in this space, you can find him advocating for consent culture, volunteering for local alternative communities, bicycling, or finding new ways of dancing. She blows kisses out to anyone reading this.

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